When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. (Acts 16:7-8 NIV)
April 16, 2006. It was the day of our big premiere.
The network marketing team hustled to hype up our show in the months leading up to this. They had lined up a series of screenings, Q&A sessions, and interviews for Tony, my friend and show co-creator, and me. Our story was featured in a few newspapers, a cable show ran a segment on us, and we even had our show mentioned in The Hollywood Reporter. Our characters’ faces went out on rave cards, posters, and T-shirts. I even passed out some of these shirts at church.
This was it. My dream was about to come true: something I created was about to air on national television (well, at least in select markets throughout the country). Our friends and family promised to tune in. DVRs were set to capture this historical moment. Drumroll…
The show was canceled.
Again.
That’s right. My show was canceled a second time– on the same day it was supposed to premiere. Apparently, there was a last-minute dispute between the network and our production team. The details didn’t matter to me, though– my show was double-dead. Was I crushed? Of course, I was disappointed, but I knew that God was calling me to let go of the show and serve Him in ministry instead.
Looks like He canceled the show twice just to make sure I got the memo.
In prayer, I said, “Okay, God. I get it. Thank You for giving me further clarity on my sense of calling. I’m willing to do whatever You’re asking me to, but I’ve been unemployed for seven months now and need to start bringing home a paycheck. It seems highly likely to me that any church would hire me to be a pastor right now, so what should I do in the meantime?”
I didn’t get any answers, so I started to look for a job.
I tried returning the graphic design industry, as that’s what I was trained for and had previous experience in. Plus, having had an animated short sold as a television series could only be a plus on my resume, right? At least, that’s what I thought.
I sent out dozens of résumés. Not a single company ever replied to me.
I began to panic. Here I was, a 35-year-old married man with a mortgage to pay, competing for jobs with designers fresh out of college and armed with degrees from more prestigious design schools. No wonder no one was calling me for an interview. Meanwhile, my wife was working full-time and understandably stressed about how our first year of marriage was going.
I finally decided to tell her about my sense of calling, emboldened by affirmations from some of my small group members, who suggested that I could become a pastor someday.
“What? You, a pastor?” Soo thought I was nuts. “You didn’t even go to seminary. How are you going to go to seminary when you don’t even have an undergrad degree?” Shifting from “aspiring filmmaker” to “aspiring pastor” didn’t exactly inspire confidence in my new bride. I assured Soo that I planned to return to the workforce and maybe start going back to school at night to work my way towards becoming a pastor.
Weeks went by with no responses to my résumés. A friend of mine connected me with the owner of a magazine publisher, who reviewed my portfolio online and offered me a phone interview. Everything seemed promising until I unexpectedly blew the interview– I had usually done pretty well over the phone, but for some reason, my responses were rambling and incoherent. Maybe I was too nervous. In any case, I was losing hope, and tensions with Soo ratcheted up with each passing week of unemployment.
Desperate, I came before the LORD and uttered the most powerful prayer I could muster:
“God, I’m stupid. I don’t know what to do. You need to help me.”
After months of silence, I got another impression: “Stop applying for jobs. You’re going to write a screenplay and get paid for it.”
This made no sense to me. I didn’t have a screenplay to sell or use as a writing sample and I didn’t have an agent. “Who’d ever hire me to write a screenplay?” I asked.
“You came begging for help, and now that I’m giving it to you, you’re arguing with Me.”
Ouch. “Okay, God, I’m listening.”
“As I was saying, don’t apply for any more jobs, because if you get one, you’ll miss out on what I have planned. You’re going to work on a movie, and you’re going to Bangkok.”
This made even less sense to me, as I didn’t have a job, didn’t have any money to buy a plane ticket, and didn’t know anybody in Bangkok who could host me. Besides, I didn’t think it’d go over too well with Soo. How could I tell her that I was going on vacation to Thailand while she was slaving away at her job to support both of us?
Yet, I replied, “Fine, God. If You say so, I believe it.” I wasn’t just saying this; I sincerely meant it. “So when is all this going to happen?”
“June.”
That was in less than a month. I didn’t know how all of this would come true so soon, but I had this inexplicable confidence that it would. Philippians 4:6-7 says:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Soo and I went out for a walk by a nearby reservoir, several days later. She asked, “How many résumés did you send out this past week?”
I stammered that I hadn’t sent out any.
“What?! Why not?”
I tried to explain that I thought God would do something, but I didn’t mention that I’d been “hearing God,” as I thought that’d still be too much for her, especially at such a stressful time. I simply said that I had been praying and had a feeling that something good would happen soon.
“How soon?” she asked.
“Umm, June?” I offered up meekly.
“What part of June?”
Just to be safe, I said, “Mid-June.”
“Okay, but if nothing happens by then…” Soo didn’t complete her sentence, but she didn’t have to.
I knew what was at stake.
Soo stormed off ahead of me. I’ll never forget the image of her leaving me behind; it was the moment when I realized that this journey following Jesus might be lonely at times.
“God, it’s just You and me,” I prayed silently. “I really need You to come through on this one.”
Two weeks later, I was at church, preparing for my 7:00 p.m. leadership class when my cell phone rang at 6:58 p.m. It was my friend and writing partner, Tony. “Hey, guess what?” he asked. He proceeded to inform me that he had just received an email from an Academy Award-winning film producer, whom we had only met once before, asking if “you and Stephen would like to go to Bangkok and write a screenplay” for him.
Bangkok? Screenplay?
And, by the way, it was June 1st.
I was speechless. The three things I heard would happen just happened in one shot, like three windows lining up for the jackpot: 1) write a movie; 2) go to Bangkok; 3) in June.
This was incredible.
I already believed that God was real, but now, I could see that He is truly the living God, the God revealed to us in the Bible, who parted the Red Sea, healed the sick, raised the dead, and continues to do what no one else can do. My passion for Jesus burned even brighter, and I just wanted to tell everybody about Him.
Tony and I were on a plane one week later, bound for Bangkok– where our senior pastor, Dave, happened to be planting a church.
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